Slip sliding away

Though I hated being so poor and unemployed for 6 months, I was lucky that I had time to go to the gym every day, clean my house (in theory, anyway), feed myself.   I’m glad to be working, and look forward to not being broke and stressed over money., but I miss my freedom.  This is also the first time in about 10 years that I haven’t had a car, so I feel double trapped.  I don’t really need the car, but it makes it hard to get out of town, or take the dog on a real hike instead of just around the city, or get to the gym.  I also can’t sleep in, because instead of taking 10-15 minutes to drive, I have a 25 minute bike ride, 20 minute shuttle, 1o minute walk each way.  And because I only like the classes at the gym, it’s hard to get to any that start earlier than 7:30, which is most.

And of course, I’ve been eating more.  There’s always food all over at work.  Besides free cookies, M&Ms, pepsi, pretzels, there are occasionally donuts, bagels, treats.  Most of these I can ignore, but it’s hard not to eat 1/4 of a donut, maybe more, if it sits there most of the morning.  There’s always a bowl of chips all afternoon from lunches they bring in.  I must eat 100 calories of chips just munching on one or two every time I go get water.  There’s no other water on the floor.  I just realized there’s another kitchen upstairs, without chips.  OK, I feel better about this, I will climg the stairs instead of passing the chips.

I’m feeling stressed.  I’m having a hard time finding good things to bring in for lunch.  I ate the catered lunch today, it was decent enough, not great.  I’m doing okay on dinner, mostly.  Since I worked late tonight, bummed about not getting to gym, I was thinking of getting a veggie burrito.  It would be a cheap, quick, tasty convenient dinner.  Then I thought about the 1000+ calories that must be in it, and how I haven’t been to the gym since Monday.  And I came home and made myself a small pizza full of veggies on a whole wheat pita and a huge salad.  And 1/4 pineapple and two chocolate almonds.

I miss the gym.  I miss my car.  I miss being able to sleep past 6 am 6 days a week.  I miss coffee, though I’m sleeping much better.  I miss cigarettes, though surprisingly I don’t think of them very often.  There are some upstairs, where I have to go to feed the dog.  I hate when the landlord leaves them where I can see them.  Shit, if I thought I had a problem walking past some foods, that has nothing on those.  I moved them out of sight, maybe I’ll even give them away.  It would serve him right

So there’s my grouchy post, with all my new complaints.  My weight is stable, hasn’t budged since I quit smoking, started working, lost control of my time and lifestyle.   I guess considering the circumstances, that’s all I can hope for right now.   I’m not bingeing, the weather is great, and I have a 3 day weekend!


4 Responses to “Slip sliding away”

  1. January 16, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    Oh I think it would be hard to get used to being car-less! Great job showing restraint with all that free food.

    Thanks for visiting my blog, too!

  2. January 18, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    Ugh, I’m scared that I won’t be able to find a job when I graduate. No binging is an accomplishment. Keep it up =).

  3. January 19, 2009 at 11:58 pm

    All I can say is ME TOO! I just went back to school after being out of work for almost a year and a half… I miss my free time because even if I am at my house I need to study and I can’t just zone out into do-whatever-fit-my-fancy… Blah!

    When I quit smoking my bingeing went through the roof. Really. I also stopped partying at the same time so I was left with food. If you can get through the first couple of months without compensating for a cigarette in your mouth with a stack of food- well that will be great!

  4. January 22, 2009 at 8:02 am

    During my first 2 years working out of college, I had the same problem with wanting to sleep in everyday when I should be working, wanting to eat all the free goodies around the office, and stressed over money. But things get better the longer you worked (or maybe the system has worn me down. LOL :D).

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January 2009
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