Just spend a few days with the family, and holy shit, my parents have some insane eating habits. My mom buys non-fat yogurt, non-fat milk, non-fat this that and the other thing. I can’t even find any bloody sugar in the house to put in my coffee. I had to use ice cream, of which there is plenty. I know it’s a bit strange, and it’s not my preference, but I hate skim milk and I can’t stand bitter coffee. How crazy is it to eat non-fat yogurt for lunch if you’re going to eat three ice cream sandwiches after dinner? I tried one of these yogurts out of desperation, and it was so disgustingly sweet I couldn’t eat more than two bites. My poor dad, who has a stent and heart trouble, makes himself brown rice with chicken and broccoli, or homemade lentil soup, the mom has a hamburger with fries. My sister hates vegetables, but makes her son eat them. My dad is just starting to walk again from getting a new hip, gained six pounds from lack of exercise for the last 3 months. My mom eats pretzels, tortilla chips, burgers, french fries, ice cream, clam chowder (she pretends to not know it’s all cream and flour), never gains an ounce. She rarely eat this stuff in front of me, but I can see that it is disappearing. When I was a kid, we’d have all kinds of junk food that she’d hide in the dryer (never used it), or random other places where for some reason she thought I wouldn’t find it. Of course I did, and ate it. Now it seems totally surreal. All the food in that house (except that bland non-fat stuff, including vegan cheese-that my dad eats) is highly processed, either non-fat with extra HFCS, or full fat junk food. And then she yells at me if I eat lunch out. I know she’s cheap and insane, but $10 is NOT super-expensive for a good lunch, including a beer. There are just so many bagels with low-fat cream cheese that I can stand to eat. Though honestly, if those ice cream sandwiches were chocolate or vanilla ice cream, instead of pomegranate (that makes it healthy, in her eyes), I might have had one. Usually she comments about everything that I eat, but since I’m not that much bigger than her, she didn’t do that this time. Thank god for small favors, I guess
Anyway, I realize I’m ranting, and that’s because I’m really pissed at my sister. I brought her son home an hour late from a hike, and she was waiting with her middle finger up on the corner, and screamed and cursed like the psycho bitch that she is during the minute it took to let the boy out (he’s 10) and drive away. I feel bad for the boy, he’s got a control freak perfectionist of a mom who can’t control her temper or her mouth. Even my parents were stunned, and on my side for once. None of us hikers had a watch, and she didn’t mention that she wanted him back so she could get home and be in bed by 8 pm. I just pay attention to not be in the woods after dark, and apparently, the hour delay ruined her life. She also screamed and cursed at my parents, she called her husband at home and screamed at him. She’s always hated me, I’ve never cared for her, but I hate to see her screw up the boy. In another two or three years, he’ll start screaming back, and she’ll deserve it. Her poor husband is a saint-why can’t I find a man like that?
Anyway, it’s nice to be back to my cold foggy home, with my vegetables and fruits, real cheese, real butter, spices, no crazy people screaming that I’m a fucking irresponsible bitch and that’s why I don’t have kids (I’ve never wanted kids). The cat, dog, and landlord are very happy to see me. And not a bit of high fructose corn syrup, nor non-fat dairy-real or fake- in the house.