I must like quitting cigarettes!

I seem to do it often enough. It’s perfect for me, really, I get to exercise non-stop for days, avoid people entirely (they should thank me for this), eat whatever I want, however much I want (not this time-gotta have my limits), and really pamper myself for a few weeks days. What could be better than that? OK, feeling like every nerve is frayed  isn’t comfortable, and can make a person cranky, possibly even bad-tempered. My impulses and cravings get out of control, and I can’t tell what I want or feel like. Actually, I’m completely ignoring cravings, because the only thing I REALLY want is what I’m not having, so why bother indulging or even acknowledging anything else? If I feel like eating, which I often do, I can eat oranges, celery, bell pepper strips, carrots, cherries, peaches, any fruit or veggie in the house. I sure have been eating a lot of produce!

Tomorrow morning will be 72 hours, and I feel almost human. I’m glad I didn’t let myself eat with abandon.   It’s been hard even to tell if I’m hungry or not, which is fine if you’re at home and can eat if you need to.  But me, in my need to escape, went on a 7 hour hike, and actually had to force myself to eat breakfast, and bring enough food.  I have had no cravings for sugar (due to fruit overdose?), and eating just varies between being a chore and strange impulses, mostly ignored, and a mindless need to just keep eating.

I’m also cutting down on my caffeine.  It’s easier to be uncomfortable and tense if I’m physically wiped out, too tired to do anything.    I am using everything at my disposal to help, and avoiding everything that doesn’t (ex-boyfriends, alcohol).  I barely have energy to move, but am going to head to pilates, because it makes me feel better, isn’t too noisy, and I like the instructor.  I’ve only done pilates 2-3 times, but am willing to give another chance.   I actually hope it makes me sore, it distracts me from the physical discomfort of not smoking.  If you want a musical depiction of what this feels like, Sonic Youth does a realistic song, called “Nic Fit”.  Tomorrow is another hike, maybe here in the city if it’s raining, or in the woods if it’s not.

Next week I join the world completely.  Really.  OK, not true, rather, I’ll start taking baby steps and getting used to the idea.


8 Responses to “I must like quitting cigarettes!”

  1. June 3, 2009 at 5:51 pm

    keep on keepin on. baby steps is all you can do. I am getting certified in pilates this week! Give it another shot..it is tough.

  2. June 3, 2009 at 9:14 pm

    I think I just don’t get pilates. I’ve tried to like it, but it doesn’t seem to be a good stretch like yoga can be, or good strength building, or aerobic, or much of anything.

  3. 3 RA
    June 4, 2009 at 7:18 am

    I’m taking this class, it’s a mix between Tai Chi, Yoga and Pilates, rocks. I don’t burn very many cals, but I feel better afterward. Good for you for quitting again, just keep trying. I’ve never had to quit anything like cigs…I can’t imagine giving up caffeine. 🙂

  4. June 4, 2009 at 8:46 am

    I just read a Japanese proverb this morning: Fall down seven, get up eight. I think I’ve fallen down more than seven times (LOL), but I’m getting up again, too. Hang in there!

    Oh, and re: Pilates. It reall does build a lot of strength, but it requires more time. You won’t see a difference after a week or two, but you’ll FEEL a difference after a month or so, and then see a difference about 2 weeks after that. At least that was how it worked for me.

  5. June 4, 2009 at 8:51 am

    Baby steps are the way to go. I overdose on fruit all the time to stay away from junk 🙂

  6. June 4, 2009 at 10:21 am

    Baby steps is a good thing. What you are going thru is hard stuff so you deserve to feel the way you do! HEY, how about a punching bag… great workout & get muscles too OR kickboxing class or one of those self defense classes that work the whole bod AND you will be working off all the other stuff too! Although, then you can’t hide away.. maybe when you are ready!

    YOU CAN DO THIS! Keep taking those baby steps.. sometimes it goes back one step but you can move forward again!

  7. June 4, 2009 at 12:49 pm

    There’s no such thing as overdosing on fruit! I’m just saying…

    Hang in there!

  8. 8 MB
    June 12, 2009 at 3:57 am

    Addiction is so hard to break. Being smoke free is a good thing and once you get past the first couple of weeks it gets so much easier. I quit when cigs. were $1.25/pack. In addition to the health benefits, think of all the money you’ll save. Your lungs will thank you for it.

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