04
Jun
09

Citrus, you mean like Tang?

I don’t think they’re interchangeable, but at a friend’s house last night, I wanted the fruit, he only had the tang.  I expect everyone I know to have a fridge/pantry full of fruits and veggies, but most have ice cream, frozen potato pucks, and juice  maybe they’ll have some cherries or wilted broccoli, but not too much more than that.  And booze, everybody has that.  I’d like to find new friends who are more into hiking or politics or ???, and spend less time eating and drinking.  I don’t like the taste of alcohol, and  I don’t like to be drunk, dislike anything but a mild buzz, and even that will have me feeling lazy and unmotivated the whole next day.    I used to be really sensitive to caffeine, to the point where a cup in the morning would have me up for 24 hours, but now I drink a few cups every morning.

Quitting cigarettes was surprisingly easy.  I still have some discomfort, mainly in the mornings, but now, as I keep shutting down my unhealthy coping mechanisms, I’m just left looking at my life, and wondering what to do with it.  I wonder if I can become a casual smoker?  I know people who only smoke one a day, or two or three a week, or just on birthdays/New Year.  Maybe I could do New Year only?  I know it’s not the 12 step model, but if can moderate food, why not cigarettes?

Here’s a picture of where I went Tuesday on my very long hike.  So nice of someone to have put out a chair!

a place to sit and think

a place to sit and think

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13 Responses to “Citrus, you mean like Tang?”


  1. June 4, 2009 at 10:51 pm

    I am a moderate smoker. I go a year or so and never smoke then smoke a pack a week for a few months then stop for no particular reason. I’ve known people to smoke a pack a day into their 90’s. I’ve lost a friend to lung cancer. The thing that drives me crazy are the tabacco nazi police. More than anything that enrages me is when fat people give health advice about smoking. Then turn around and are insulted when someone mentions they should go on a diet.
    It is a mad world.

    cheers,

    • June 5, 2009 at 8:29 am

      I really wish everyone would mind their own business about others lifestyles, whether health, fashion, gender associations, food choices, etc. I grew up with a hypercritical mom, and guess what? It’s nobody’s motherfucking business! A person isn’t a better person because they don’t eat cheese, keep their hair short, act how they “should”. OK, still grouchy today. Must exercise, burn off temper….

  2. 3 RA
    June 5, 2009 at 5:11 am

    You live in an amazing place, so close to water, the woods and the city. What could be better? So true about people not having fresh fruits and veggies in stock. We load up twice a week because we go through them. Our frozen food? Chicken breasts and the occasional steak. Oh, and we do put our bread in the freezer. 😉 Good for you, again, for quitting again. Glad to hear it wasn’t AS bad. I still can’t imagine.

    • June 5, 2009 at 8:32 am

      Yes, I am lucky to live here, but I pay, both with money and lifestyle. Not sure it’s worth it, but don’t have anywhere better to go. I also keep bread, cheese, half cooked bacon, roasted bell pepper, etc. in the freezer. I do it so I can prep a bunch and it won’t rot, but if I want it, I have to give it time to defrost. Thanks for the encouragement, now that the physical part is easing up, there’s still a lot of psychological stuff. “Why bother to live if I can’t smoke?” That’s about how my mind will work, if I don’t control it

  3. June 5, 2009 at 5:41 am

    I have a little bit of an opposite experience: people who raid MY fridge always first look surprised that a “fat girl” has nothing but a fridge full of fresh veggies (even when I’m NOT trying lose weight, I eat healthier than about 90% of people). Then once they get past that, they’re bewildered by the fact that there’s “nothing to eat” in my fridge. WTF? It’s FULL, people. There’s no juice or chips or ice cream, but there is a LOT of food in there, most of it precut and prechopped. Weird.

    Congrats on the smoking! Frankly, I don’t see a problem with being an occasional smoker. I know people who ONLY have a cigarette when they’re drinking, and don’t even crave them any other time. I would venture to say though, that you should probably give it some time to clear out of your system before trying to moderate it. It seems like it would be too easy to get sucked back in (no pun intended) this soon after you’d quit.

    • June 5, 2009 at 8:36 am

      Yeah, it would have to be a few months before I even considered it. The psychology is too sneaky. As far as the fridge, I’ve been on both sides. I visit a friend occasionally who must always eat out, but when I go over, he’s got a fridge full of produce. I like to cook, but mostly in my own kitchen, unless they’ve really got ingredients. If it’s 10:30 at night, I probably want a cracker with cheese or similar, I really don’t want to be chopping broccoli and cooking brown rice. I’ve always got leftovers or convenience food that I prep myself, I don’t always want to spend an hour cooking every time I want to eat, either.

  4. June 5, 2009 at 9:51 am

    Such a nice photo!

    I like branching out and having lots of different groups of friends- ones for drinking/partying, ones for playing sports, ones for discussing politics etc… it’s good to have a variety. And it’s fun meeting new people!

    • June 5, 2009 at 7:56 pm

      I think it’s a bit scary to meet new people. Obviously, a problem. But I think you’re onto something with the different sorts of friends.

  5. June 5, 2009 at 10:56 am

    Keep focusing on you! I am not a drinker & never have been & most of my friends are not so a bit hard fro me to relate to the other end. I have more people that have healthy stuff in the fridge but I am “square” as some people would put it. Not a party person & even when I went to college at UCSB which is known as a party school, I was all classes & had to work too… I know, boring!

    That pic is beautiful!!! I have to drive to get to places like that! Enjoy it!

    As for cigs, I guess I am one that just wants people to stop after seeing my mother-in-law die from small cell cancer which is directly related to smoking. She was thin & very active otherwise. We all make our own choices so this is your choice but after seeing too my family members suffer from cancer, stopping is one way to TRY to avoid it. Although many get cancer that have done everything right. This is your choice but keep on trying & less is better than more for cigarette smoking.

    • June 5, 2009 at 7:42 pm

      I had to drive there too, it’s like 30 hellish miles away. I live in the inner city, even if it’s gentrifying at an alarming pace. I hope it reverses, as the economy dives, I know I’m not supposed to say that. I don’t think I’m ever going to pass for “square”, but I could use a different crowd. I went to UCSC, but had no time to play, either.

  6. June 5, 2009 at 10:15 pm

    The truth is that 99% of people can’t be casual smokers.. The reason is that smoking is an addiction and pretty soon you’ll need more of the drug to get the same effect. It’s so not worth it!

  7. June 6, 2009 at 8:34 am

    OH MY GOD! Your comment just made my morning! I laughed so hard- I was talking about hot tamales, THE CANDY!! It took me a few minutes to understand why you were saying that hot tamales were greasy- you meant the actual meaty tamale!

  8. 13 Jo
    June 7, 2009 at 7:02 am

    You can come visit me. I don’t drink, nor does my hubby. I can’t stand the smell of alcohol, just because I have family members that were/are severe alcoholics. So the smell brings back associations of nastiness.

    We’ve got healthy and junk food. Hubby won’t give up certain things so they’re still here. You could get some fresh fruit and Romaine salad from my fridge at the moment.

    And of course if you don’t mind stepping into the garage in winter or back yard in summer, you can smoke here. We do. I could never be a casual smoker. I am too addicted to the darned things. Congrats to you for quitting! I’ve quit a few times in the past and every time I decided to be a casual smoker, I got hooked right away again. It’s been awhile since I quit (meaning over a decade) and it’s my biggest obstacle to overcome. Kudos to you for kicking the habit!


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