Curiouser and Curiouser

One pair of size 10 pants is way too big, another is kind of tight.   My 38DD bra is too big, the 36DD is too small.   My body is changing quickly now, it’s kind of cool.  I’ve got the same bulges I’ve had for the last 40 pounds, but they’re feeling a bit smaller, flatter.    I now take a medium in most shirts, occasionally I need large.  My clothes are very frumpy, and they didn’t look good on me when I was bigger, they still don’t.  All bland, basic, shapeless, blech.  I’ll shop eventually, some day.  Or more likely, hit some garage sales.

Seems the last time I was in the 150s, I was around a size 6, now I’m still a 10.  Either I’m remember wrong, or I was more muscular back then.  I’ll have to go see if I still have clothes that are too small, or maybe this is it.  I’m still huge, or at least I look it at the gym, I’ve got a few inch more radius on any other woman there.

I haven’t smoked cigarettes in two days now.  I had to wait until I could pull myself out of that depression, so instead of thinking how my life sucks and there is no joy other than smoking, now I just think about healthy pink lungs, and it’s very easy.  I just really like to make things hard for myself sometimes.  Truly, depression can be crippling, and I will try to be more cautious to stay out of the abyss.

And finally, if you’re like me, and your weight loss is anything but linear, check out the brilliant (imho) Leigh Peele:  (To me, brilliant means I agree with them >75% of the time-though of course this could mean we’re both foolish)



9 Responses to “Curiouser and Curiouser”

  1. June 30, 2009 at 10:06 pm

    Sizes can be so tricky sometimes! Now I’m wondering how tall you are. I’m comfortably fitting in size 10 pants, capris and shorts and medium tops. And I weight 175! Last time I wore a size 10 I think I was around 155. But I’m 5’11” so my weight is definitely distributed differently and THIS TIME, I’m healthy and fit. Last time, I wasn’t active at all.

  2. June 30, 2009 at 10:22 pm

    I’m almost 5’5″, I forget that that matters, though I don’t understand why it should.

  3. June 30, 2009 at 10:52 pm

    Well done on not smoking!

    My body is awkward too right now – I think I’m about three different sizes in various parts of my body… Nothing looks good on me!

  4. July 2, 2009 at 9:44 am

    Healthy pink lungs! I like that thought 🙂 Interesting post about the weight fluctuations.

  5. July 2, 2009 at 10:23 am

    It is amazing how we can wear 3 different sizes but clothes makers have to do with this too. And yes, muscle or lack thereof may have something to do with how the clothes fit. I remember when I was less muscular, I weighed about the same or a bit less but wore a larger size.

    Love the pink lungs!!!! Hang in there!

  6. 6 Ruth
    July 3, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    I just saw that commercial last night. The irony of it all is that I saw the same girl on the cover of a magazine stating that the reality tv show that she is on “gave” her an eating disorder.

  7. July 3, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    Back in 1989 I finally decided to quick smoking. I had too, between the butts and caffeine, my heart was constantly beating to a different drummer. Anyway, I signed up with this group called “adversive conditioning” to help me quit. I cried after giving them my credit card because I loved smoking so much and didn’t want to stop, but knew I had to. The class was held MWF evenings for 2 weeks. I didn’t know what to expect, but after two classes I was done smoking – forever. We sat around a table [about 15 of us] and had our cigarettes and an ashtray in front of us. There was a tape recorder in the middle of the table. We lit up our cancer sticks and the tape started. It said something scary, horrible, medically worrisome, etc. Then it would beep. At the beep you HAD to take a drag on your cigarette. The beep came every 10 seconds. Who takes a drag every 10 seconds? After about 10″, people were vomitting, passing out, and so on. I just got a very weird tingling in my mouth and cheeks, started to salivate [like dribble], and decided to stop during my second cigarette. Tuesday, I coudn’t smoke. Wednesday I woke up and wanted a cigarette and had a few [we were allowed to smoke] before the next class that evening. I got to class, sat down, lit up and listened to the first recording. I took one puff. That was my last puff. I had been smoking a pack if not more since I was 16 years old. At 27, my mind and body were ready to quit. I don’t know why. Stick with it. Maybe you can’t do this alone. Try to find a group to help you. Good luck!!

  8. 8 chubrubb
    July 3, 2009 at 10:04 pm

    Thanks for commenting on my last post. I guess there is more to this issue than just A or B! Congrats to you 🙂

  9. July 4, 2009 at 1:32 pm

    Hey, I am 5’6″, 146 lbs, and still in size 12s! But hey, I’m working on it… and I’m a A bra, so that makes a difference too.

    But what I really wanted to say is about smoking. CONGRATS ON DAY 2!!! Keep up the good work. I’ve been quit for almost 3 years now (end of August officially) and I have to say, my husband really deserves the credit. Surround yourself with people who are willing to stop you – physically stop you – when you want to go back. Tell them that you NEED them to physically stop you. If my DH hadn’t stopped me physically, I would have never quit. It was day 3 and 4 I remember clearly. By Day 5 it was “easier” (not easy) but it just takes a powerful determination and will-power – sometimes (most of the time) it’s something that we cannot do by ourselves. We are our own worst enemy remember that.

    Hey, I really wish you the best because 3 years on, its the VERY BEST MOST WONDERFULLY FREEING AND LIBERATING thing that I’ve ever done for myself. It’s such a wonderful life on the other side. Really. Imagine the time and $ and energy you’ll have for other things – for LIFE! It’s something you HAVE TO DO. God bless you. I wish you the best from the bottom of my heart Julie. Good luck.

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