Impulse Control

I have been thinking about impulse control since reading a Time magazine article on it a few days back.  Here’s the link:


“In two papers published this week in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine, scientists found that preschool-age children who had trouble with self-control and the ability to delay gratification gained more weight by the time they were preteens than those who were better at regulating their behavior”

It’s not really much of a surprise, to me at least.  I would also guess that these kids were also more likely to have drug and alcohol problems.   I am not so good at impulse control.  This is what I’m going to work on next.  I managed to get past this with food (how the hell did I do this?) but I still have my problems, especially emotional impulse control.   A friend blew me off, and apologized, and I still told her she was lame.  Why don’t I just avoid her for a week or two until I’m over it?  Now she’s probably pissed at me.  It’s not like I have enough friends that I can just throw them away, even if they’re lame.  And the worst is my need to talk things out with people I shouldn’t be so close to, like ex-boyfriends.  The problem with being close with ex-bfs, especially if you’re still intimate with them, is that they start dating someone, and then the whole relationship is awkward, inappropriate, and uncomfortable.  I keep wanting to call him, and it’s just philosophy talk, I don’t want to revisit old relationship issues (oh hells no!)  The transition from boyfriend/girlfriend to friends with benefits to just friends and back again is confusing, at best.

Anyway, I’m actually figuring shit out as I approach my goal weight and am trying to put more energy into actually improving my life, not just thinning.  I’m learning quickly, and I hope when I move in another month, from my 2 bedroom in the heart (or armpit, in the opinion of some) of my city to a tiny studio with a huge yard in a more suburban city.  Other than the tininess, I’m looking forward to it.  I love the yard, love the Y, love all the lush greenery, don’t love the guns and drugs, though they’re here, too, just not as visible.

Today I ate breakfast at 8:30, went to kickboxing at 10, walked 2.5 miles each way for a burrito at 2, now I’m making pasta sauce.  I won’t eat again tonight, other than peaches, cherries, purple green beans, maybe part of a Korean melon.  I seem to be on the two meal and lots of snack thing these days.  If I ever get a job, I’ll go back to three, but they’ll be smaller.  I can’t eat again within 10 hours of a burrito.  As for the job, I have a phone screen for a shitty temp job that’s too far away for my comfort, but I can’t be picky.  I think they drug test, which is why I’m dealing with the impulse control thing, I had to give up the weed immediately, and it’s uncomfortable.  I feel compulsion!  Feh.

**Pasta will be eaten for lunch or dinner for the next few days.  Whole grain pasta, I add sugar to the sauce so I can stand it.  Also I roasted eggplant, summer squash, sauteed shiitakes, 2 cans diced tomatoes, 1 can tomato paste.  And about 8 cloves of garlic, herbs, and mirin (my absolute favorite).  For someone who doesn’t think she has a sweet tooth, I sure sweeten a lot of my food.  But, the eggplant is bitter, yeah yeah, that’s it, bitter without it.


3 Responses to “Impulse Control”

  1. July 13, 2009 at 6:19 am

    That is such a worthy endeavor – trying to improve your life, instead of just losing weight.

  2. July 13, 2009 at 10:02 am

    Your foods sound great. Am glad that you’re looking forward to it all!

  3. July 16, 2009 at 4:29 am

    I had maternity undies just like those that I wore for almost a year after my babies were born. I just loved that loose feeling. No wonder guys lover boxers. Your legs look great, though and truthfully, that’s all that that photo really says.

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