I have been thinking about impulse control since reading a Time magazine article on it a few days back. Here’s the link:
“In two papers published this week in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine, scientists found that preschool-age children who had trouble with self-control and the ability to delay gratification gained more weight by the time they were preteens than those who were better at regulating their behavior”
It’s not really much of a surprise, to me at least. I would also guess that these kids were also more likely to have drug and alcohol problems. I am not so good at impulse control. This is what I’m going to work on next. I managed to get past this with food (how the hell did I do this?) but I still have my problems, especially emotional impulse control. A friend blew me off, and apologized, and I still told her she was lame. Why don’t I just avoid her for a week or two until I’m over it? Now she’s probably pissed at me. It’s not like I have enough friends that I can just throw them away, even if they’re lame. And the worst is my need to talk things out with people I shouldn’t be so close to, like ex-boyfriends. The problem with being close with ex-bfs, especially if you’re still intimate with them, is that they start dating someone, and then the whole relationship is awkward, inappropriate, and uncomfortable. I keep wanting to call him, and it’s just philosophy talk, I don’t want to revisit old relationship issues (oh hells no!) The transition from boyfriend/girlfriend to friends with benefits to just friends and back again is confusing, at best.
Anyway, I’m actually figuring shit out as I approach my goal weight and am trying to put more energy into actually improving my life, not just thinning. I’m learning quickly, and I hope when I move in another month, from my 2 bedroom in the heart (or armpit, in the opinion of some) of my city to a tiny studio with a huge yard in a more suburban city. Other than the tininess, I’m looking forward to it. I love the yard, love the Y, love all the lush greenery, don’t love the guns and drugs, though they’re here, too, just not as visible.
Today I ate breakfast at 8:30, went to kickboxing at 10, walked 2.5 miles each way for a burrito at 2, now I’m making pasta sauce. I won’t eat again tonight, other than peaches, cherries, purple green beans, maybe part of a Korean melon. I seem to be on the two meal and lots of snack thing these days. If I ever get a job, I’ll go back to three, but they’ll be smaller. I can’t eat again within 10 hours of a burrito. As for the job, I have a phone screen for a shitty temp job that’s too far away for my comfort, but I can’t be picky. I think they drug test, which is why I’m dealing with the impulse control thing, I had to give up the weed immediately, and it’s uncomfortable. I feel compulsion! Feh.
**Pasta will be eaten for lunch or dinner for the next few days. Whole grain pasta, I add sugar to the sauce so I can stand it. Also I roasted eggplant, summer squash, sauteed shiitakes, 2 cans diced tomatoes, 1 can tomato paste. And about 8 cloves of garlic, herbs, and mirin (my absolute favorite). For someone who doesn’t think she has a sweet tooth, I sure sweeten a lot of my food. But, the eggplant is bitter, yeah yeah, that’s it, bitter without it.