This may count as one of the strangest meals I’ve eaten yet. I went to a barbecue, didn’t want sausage, didn’t want gardenburgers, and I was hungry. I also put onion and lettuce, so it was a dry sandwich, but it was fine. It was a bike party at a brewery in the bowels of Oakland. I bike there almost 5 miles each way, in short sleeves, trying to get some Vitamin D, in case I don’t have enough. I wouldn’t dare bike through these parts at night, I would have to go an extra two miles out of the way. It’s gorgeous during the day, though.
Yesterday the ex and I sat in a hipster bar in the Mission, discussing how our parents fucked us up, and how to fix ourselves. We have a strange relationship, complicated by the fact that we never quite get away from each other, and are very close, despite the problems from being exes. Our moms are best friends, though they no longer live close, but we know each other well, and we know each others parents, and have witnessed firsthand the damage being done. We must look a strange pair, we are obviously not fighting, but I get weepy. It’s funny being the only woman in a bar, I can do anything, nobody will say a word to me, not while crying, anyway. I am going to practice living as if I loved myself, rather than slightly despising myself, see if that goes any better. I’ll figure it out as I do it.
I’m 152.5 pounds. At 148, my BMI = 25. I’ll still be chubby, but I’ll think about resetting a goal when I make this one. This is an old picture of me, maybe 2 years ago, when I weighed ~200.