We were fat women once

The first party I went to last week happened on a Tuesday, in a pub.  It was nice to see some people I hadn’t seen in a while, meet new people.  I’m getting better at being friendlier and not isolating so much, though it’s not always so comfortable.  I still get annoyed when social activities interfere with my gym, though I dispel this when it occurs.  I get enough exercise, and I often have to remind myself of that.  Over and over.  This is what retraining the brain seems to consist of, managing mind tricks and games and other stuff  to unfuck ones thinking,  not as fun as playing with food, exercise.   I don’t know if everyone who lost a bunch of weight, or had a less than stellar childhood, or healed themselves from ED has to do this.    I think many people do this to some extent at some point in their lives, many so they don’t pass on neurosis to their children, some just to have a chance at a fulfilling, content life, whatever.   I’ve got my work cut out for me in this dept, I know, and that’s all I’m saying about my last post.  No comment.

Anyway, back to the party.  I invited a friend (the one who had WLS) to another party a few days later, but she couldn’t go.  Sitting down, later, I mentioned to a good friend of hers who I’ve known for a long time that I invited her, and he said she has four dates this week.  Making up for lost time – decades of being fat.  He explains to me how not only don’t people not date fat women, they are ignored, people try to not look them in the eye at parties, they get the worst seats in restaurants, etc.  The irony of having life as a fat woman explained to me by a skinny man is not lost on me, but no more so than the smoky room us two ex-smokers are sitting in.  She is very thin now, scares me.  Even more so, as she has mentioned that her toenails are glued together, as they crack from lack of calcium.  Absorption problems.  She, like me, is not used to the kind of attention that she is getting from men.  We talk about dating stuff a bunch, not so much about our pasts.  I feed her as much as she’ll eat whenever she comes over, she’s kinda lazy about eating, especially plants.

The Thursday party was fun.  Private beach, no dogs.  No road.  There was a road once, washed out about 5 years ago.  It was usable as a flat path for a few more years, then that slid too.  Now 200 steps are the only way in/out.  There are about 10 houses there, and everyone there, from very small children and senior citizens, to extremely pregnant women, walks those 200 steps to leave, enter.  Garbage, compost, recycling are carried out.  At least they have running water.  In however many years, the rest of the cliff, and the houses, will go to the ocean.  But for now, it’s a great place for a bonfire, party!  I dislike bonfire smoke more than I dislike cigarette smoke, but still like beach fires.  I wish people would avoid the wood treated with creosote, arsenic, hexavalent chromium!  Especially those who are purists in eating, think nothing of breathing that crap!  Yuck.

Looking down the steps to the beach


10 Responses to “We were fat women once”

  1. May 20, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    I have to do that same “calm down” thing for missed gym time, too. I don’t want it to get *too* easy, but I’ll be glad when I get to a point where it’s not quite as big a deal or process.

  2. May 20, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    Oh, and I’m with you on the creosote. A friend offered me some old railroad ties to use for a raised-bed garden. He seemed offended that I didn’t want them surrounding the soil my food was growing in.

  3. May 21, 2010 at 11:00 am

    Well, you are so zen this week! Your cup is completely empty. Ready to be refilled. Try to see it as 1/4 1/2 3/4 filled as it happens. OK?

    Fires on the beach are fun! No one I know would use toxic wood. You guys prohibited by John Muir from using better wood. When I was in Haiti they used the sides of their shacks to make fires. Priorities I guess. I suppose you haven’t found Dad Energi. Did you read my column on free advise?

    I once heard a psychologist say just like our bodies, our minds can give us false information. Doesn’t seem fair, does it?

  4. May 21, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    I think purists are only eating purists on that one subject. Sometimes people just don’t make the connection. But it is ironic.

  5. May 22, 2010 at 7:31 am

    Glad you’re going out and about and feeling better about it. I love going out, but I usually have enough after about 2-3 hours. My husband hates this about me…. but he’s been dealing with it since our dating days. His choice: to be would be the last ones to leave.

    200 steps? yuck.. most of time. I wouldn’t be into having to do those steps 3, 4, 5, times a day, although I know it would be good for me.

    Don’t like cigarette smoke? Well. well…

  6. May 22, 2010 at 9:35 am

    I can’t imagine people burning toxic wood – how dangerous. I’m glad that you are going out and enjoying yourself.

    Have a great weekend.

  7. May 25, 2010 at 5:49 am

    Cammy – I got a nasty look, eye roll, for refusing treated wood in my garden. “But it’s washed off by now!” Uh, no, it doesn’t wash off, but it will leach out very very slowly.

    Dr J – Whatever washes up as driftwood is what gets burned. I did read your column on free advice, and I have looked for Das Energi. If I find it used, or at a library, I will get it. I looked online, looks a little woo-woo, but if you think there’s something important there, I’ll keep looking.

    Asithi – Sometimes they’re not even consistent on that one subject. I went to Whole Paycheck with a friend yesterday, she spends $90 on what I can buy (almost just as organic) probably for $40, but she MUST, as organic is mandatory as she has estrogen charge (?), and can’t have hormone disruptors. Until she has a few beers, half pack ciggies, then eats much of a bag of chili lime flavored tortilla chips. I asked her if they were organic, got a pained look. Just a little hypocritical…

    Bobbie – I usually leave about when people start being drunk. Not even consciously, I think. As for 200 steps, given that it’s also a 20 minute drive to get anywhere, they likely only leave/return once a day, at most. Isolating. However, there have been no robberies since the road washed away. And, of course, none are the chubby that now passes for normal, but slim.

    Diane – I think the landlord occasionally throws construction materials in, hoping guests making the fire won’t notice. It either sits on beach, burns, or returns to ocean. Nobody wants to carry too much up the steps, they already have to carry children, trash, etc.

    Have a great holiday weekend, all!

    • May 25, 2010 at 6:05 pm

      Your Whole Paycheck friend reminds me of Keith Richards, who has ingested more drugs than a pharmacy, but won’t use cellphones, because he is afraid they might caause brain tumors. Gotta respect the temple that is his body 😀

    • June 4, 2010 at 5:53 am

      Kind of remind me of my vegetarian co-worker who does not believe that we should kill another life form in order to feed ourselves. I once commented that her faux suede jacket looks really realistic. She said, “of course it does, it is real leather.” After that incident, I just roll my eyes every time she gives me a disgusted look when I eat meat in front of her.

  8. May 31, 2010 at 11:09 am

    Great place for a party!

    I love the smell of a bonfire. Using real wood, that is; I’m not so keen on the toxic stuff 😉

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