And we hate you!

I’m forcing myself to post, not sure why I’m not into it, but seeing as how this is my first post in almost 6 months, and nobody remembers me anyway, maybe it’s past its time.  My life seems very uneventful, and I don’t have much to say.  I’m learning to maintain my weight loss, which is not as fun or interesting as losing it.  Hardly anybody even remembers that I used to be fat, only a few people at my job knew me then, and my friends are over it.  I’d still like to lose 10-15 more, but this seems to be the case often with POW (previously obese women), especially past 40, like me.

Seems to be a lot of trial and error, a constant vigilance against regain, which I will start to do if I slack too much.  I can slack a little.  Maybe the successful maintainers can learn how much and how often they can slack, how many exceptions, special occasions, what-have-you, they can get away with without regaining.  And how not to start increasing portion sizes, or snacking, all sorts of things that all most be monitored, however loosely or uptightly that needs to be for the particular person.

As for the title of this post, a friend of a friend said it to me at a party.  A few of them were sitting around talking about how they were twenty pounds up from their fighting weights, unlike the previous year at this same pool party.  I had honestly never thought about normal-weight women and weight cycling, more used to 50+ pound swings.  Who knew, 10-20 pound swings, on women that barely dip into overweight even at high weights.  One of them says “Oh, by the way, Julie, you look really good!  You can totally tell that you work out, unlike us these days.  And we hate you!  :-)”   All of these reactions had been going though my head, such as “but I’m still fat!”, or “better be, I spend half my life in the gym”, and finally “thanks”, but I didn’t know how to react to the hate comment.   Since I had eaten a very medicated brownie, I decided I wasn’t obligated to respond at all, and didn’t.

I guess I’m glad that somebody who actually saw me in a bathing suit thinks I look like I go to the gym, though I’m not quite sure how to feel about this compliment, but I’m learning that the gym isn’t useful, in terms of functional fitness.   I played softball (for the first time in 20 years?) tonight with my work team, and I can’t sprint, as in run for the ball.  I can, but it feels awkward, and I’m not used to it.  I can’t throw the ball very far.  WTF have I been training for in the gym?  Maybe i should find a soccer team as well.

While most of the country is scorching, we are having a chilly summer.  Today, even the areas normally hot were 20F below average.  The pool party I mentioned above, last year was low-90s, this year mid-70s.  Even places that usually are much warmer only get there sometimes.  As for where i live, which is considered a marine layer, has been given an adjective, exuberant.  I now live in an exuberant (or was that exaggerated) marine layer.  This is my coldest summer that I remember.


Random sight on my walk home, had to look twice


10 Responses to “And we hate you!”

  1. 1 Betsey
    July 18, 2012 at 2:48 am

    Good to hear from you! I am in awe of anyone who maintains a weight loss — losing it is the easy part. No hating here! Please send your chilly weather to Chicago, would you? We are sweltering, and I hate it so much.

  2. July 19, 2012 at 5:43 am

    I love the photo. I can’t believe someone wanted their car to look like a Chinese dragon in the traditional dragon dance.

    I know what you mean about the half joke/compliment about exercising. I get the eye roll when I want to talk about losing 5 pounds. But I think it is much easier to lose 20+ pounds than the last 5. Your body just seems to want to hang on to the last few pounds.

  3. July 20, 2012 at 5:18 am

    Glad you posted a blog post! I remember you, of course. 🙂

    I think part of maintaining is learning the balance and learning to feel comfortable in the new thinner body you have and are working hard to keep. Even after 14 years of maintenance, I still have to consciously work on the balance, although I don’t feel it is a burden, but rather a blessing.

    As far as your friends go – I’m happy that they notice how great you look! That is awesome and affirming.

  4. 4 findingradiance
    July 22, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    Maintenance is an up and down battle. I still have that last 10-15 that I bounced up from after hitting my low a few years ago. It’s actually harder now to get that last bit off than actually maintaining or losing the weight in the first place!

    I think it is great that you have been successful thus far. It shows what you have been learning.

  5. July 22, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    Too true. I’m trying to find functional things I can do to be fit at the gym. Since I’ve started revolving around my healthy weight I’m looking at how to be healthy instead of thin and it’s changed a lot of how I look at what I do to be fit. This whole maintenance thing is rather confusing. It takes a but of getting used to 🙂

  6. July 24, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    Betsey – Thanks, hope your city has cooled. Maybe you can give us 20F, then we’ll both have good temps.

    Asithi – There sure are some odd art cars around here. As for that last 5 pounds (or 15), you’re right, it wants to stay. If I end up here, it would be okay, but I’ll keep tryng anyway.

    Diane – Definitely a balance, but I’m content with it, so far. Still learning, and I expect I’ll have to mind this forever. Also still feeling strange about that compliment, but maybe I have to accept the oddness of human nature, not read too much into it.

    Findingradiance – Sounds like you and I are in the same spot, weight-wise. I bounced up about 15 pounds from my low, am down about half that, but not budging with any speed or regularity. Best of luck!

    Geosomin – The psychological stuff is starting to hit me recently. Confusing and strange. Anyway, I would love to spend less time at gym, more time being active, Find more balance, indeed.

  7. July 25, 2012 at 4:45 pm

    Hey! Good to read a new post here, Julie!

    I tend to feel a lot of the problem relates to how the usual food that we eat is so calorie dense. It all could be made much better, but if it’s processed or restaurant made, you can forgetabout it being low calorie. Because of this most people take in too many calories and have the body that math adds up to. If the food industry would help people with the food offerings, it wouldn’t take the willpower of a superhero to be a normal weight.

  8. July 30, 2012 at 8:47 pm

    I was in a cafe a bit ago that had a kale/seaweed salad, but that was hippies, still not maintream food, even here. I won’t be holding my breath for food indutry or food culture to change without a huge struggle (NYC soda portion size, for example). It’ll be slow, but can happen. We definitely need to move away from what Nigel (http://nigeepoo.blogspot.com/) calls CIAB (crap in a bag/box). Weight maintenance is swimming against the tide, even more than losing the stuff in the first place.

  9. 9 Beth M
    August 21, 2012 at 5:05 pm

    I’m a comparatively newbie reader, but I hope you’ll continue to post when the mood strikes … leaving a breadcrumb trail for those of us trying to follow in your footsteps into maintenance. (Ooops, maybe food-related metaphors are the wrong choice here??) Maintenance is just downright hard, and I’m grateful for every rational voice in the blogosphere willing to speak from experience about how they’re managing it.

    I love the phrase “exuberant marine layer” , I’ll have to tuck that one away for future use. Kind of reminds me of another favorite weather description, “aggressive fog” . I guess if we’re going to have a sad summer, we can at least be poetic about it!

  10. 10 Maggie
    November 10, 2012 at 8:15 pm

    I just read your blog, loved it,please don’t give up, your writing is entertaining, informative and interesting.


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July 2012

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