I should have stayed home sick on Thanksgiving. Or, at least, been unwilling to drive, going hiking instead. I was offered a room in a motel with my cousins, but I’m not a good sleeper, and I hardly know them. It’s not a close branch of the family. Anyway, I drove almost 3 hours South, pretty area, but too far. Dinner was at a restaurant, at a golf resort, where my great-aunt lives. We had sushi, ribs, fish, chocolate souffle, and wine. My great aunt asks why I’m so large. She thinks I must eat too much fast food. No, no fast food.
“Well, what is it? Do you live on potato chips, ice cream?” WTF? Back off, bitch. I shrug, turn away, talk to her son, who is about the only one I even know there. His daughters start talking to her about something else. Later in the evening, she says I shouldn’t bother to wear a skirt, my legs aren’t ready to be shown off yet. On the way out, she offers to let me into her gym, which is in the building. Great idea, let me go in there in my dress and fucking heels, and go for a run. I was pissed by this time, and left, drove the 2.5 hours home (different route, less traffic).
I didn’t see anything to her that night, but she emailed to apologize for the crowded sleeping arrangements. I emailed back that I thought she might be apologizing for her inappropriate comments. She offered no apology, but said she’s been battling weight problems her whole life, and even at her age, she eats as little as she can get away with, and exercises as much as she can.
I’ve never known her to be anything but thin, but she was already close to 50 when I was born. She eats reasonably, though not a whole lot. Very healthy for her age, doesn’t walk well, but swims just fine. I’m only 10 pounds above my lowest adult weight, which probably was where I was last time I saw her, 1.5 years ago. I’m much smaller than she’s seen me in the past.
So, did she motivate me to go lose weight? I’m losing at my slow, not-willing-to-diet pace, a pound or so per month, anything faster would probably backfire, especially this time of year. But she pissed me enough to buy a pack of ciggies and smoke them. That’ll increase weight loss, but not worth going back to. Nothing but suffering that way. And now, instead of feeling like I’m just 10 pounds overweight but doing fine, now I feel fat and disgusting and ashamed to be out in public, no point in trying to dress nice, or look presentable. And I’m having nicotine cravings. Even my mom doesn’t do that to me anymore (but only because my dad made her stop)
I guess we all have some nasty relatives.